Well im 24++ and i have a very bad temper... how could u advice me as my anger pile up i start to abuse people?

well i also can be abusive by words and also hit my love ones...


do i need medical attention?Well im 24++ and i have a very bad temper... how could u advice me as my anger pile up i start to abuse people?
If you are being physically aggressive, you should seek professional help ASAP. I know how hard it is to control one's temper - it has been a burden for me since I was a teenager, and I'm now 33 - but I've never hit any of my family or my partners. That's a sign that you have no control over your anger at all.Well im 24++ and i have a very bad temper... how could u advice me as my anger pile up i start to abuse people?
Options: Take a couple of deep breaths; fill the lower part of your lungs first, THEN the chest. If you can't deal with it by using one of the techniques, such as counting backwards from 20, to 1, (and prevent you from allowing yourself to become angry, in the first place) it is important to express that anger appropriately, at the time, and to the person who caused it, if possible, or immediately afterwards. If not, perhaps by walking away later, and bellowing your rage and/or frustration. In some situations, such as work, or school, it might be better to cover your mouth with a cupped hand, bandanna/handkerchief, or use the crook of your elbow, to muffle the sound. Some people find that it helps to journal those thoughts, and emotions soon afterwards. Anger, which is repressed, rather than healthily expressed, tends to fester, and later may cause explosive fits of rage, or depression. Let yourself feel the burning energy of that anger, and visualise it, as vividly as possible, as a hot flame cleansing you. It can help to have someone you can talk to. For more physically inclined people, a punching bag, or hitting your pillow, can be an effective release mechanism: visualise, as vividly as you can, that you are striking back at the cause of that anger. ';But next time, when you get mad, just remember this quote: 'Those who anger you, conquer you.' It's basically saying that when you give someone the power to make you mad, or let it get to you, it's like they're controlling you. When I realized that, it made me mad, so I try to control my anger and not let people see it. You can still control your anger without being walked all over.





You just have to draw a line.'; Try saying to yourself, in your mind: ';I am fire! I am ice!';. Repeat for as long as it takes for you to calm down sufficiently. Practice a relaxation method, daily, and when needed, such as: (free) http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-鈥?/a> or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody鈥?/a> or http://www.wikihow.com/Meditate Tai Chi, yoga, or Qi Gong, suits others better. Give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. It is free via the searchbar at http://www.mercola.com ';EFT'; %26amp; ';EFT therapists'; Professional is best. - There is a version for use in public places, (if you want to, you can claim to have a headache, as you employ the acupressure massage/tapping your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: ';Even though I sometimes make myself angry, I deeply and completely accept myself.'; These will enable you to emotionally centre yourself, when practiced regularly, and can also help you become a calmer, more self controlled person, who is less influenced by the behaviour of others. Books: The Anger Workbook - a 13 step plan to help you. - Les Carter %26amp; Frank Minirth. - Minirth Meier Clinic Series, %26amp; Anger Management For Dummies. - W. Doyle. PhD. - Gentry, %26amp; ';Feeling Good - the new mood therapy'; by David D. Burns, (recommended) %26amp; Angry All The Time: An Emergency Guide to Anger Control by Ron Potter-Efron. Try your library, local bookstore, or http://www.amazon.com for these. Check out: http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/campaigns鈥?/a> Imagine, as vividly as you can, that your anger, fears, your self-recriminations, all the agonizing ';I'm-so-Stupids';, every painful ';I-can't-do-it'; are huge raging, hurtful bulls snorting and charging at you.
Being abusive usually tends to occur when something traumatic has happened to you...do you know what caused it? (you don't have to share this, but think of it privately, and see if you can draw any conclusions out of it.)





I came from an abusive family, and abusive husband, and realize I do have anger issues because of it...do you feel bad after you abuse someone? Or does it make you feel good?


Do you really want to change your behavior or are you ok with the way it is?





I really don't think meds are the answer for a lot of people...I have made a lot of angry mistakes and hurt some people, but I've never been on meds for it. I've stopped on my own because I don't enjoy hurting the people I love. Not just because I was physically hurting them, but because I was emotionally hurting them, and having to face them afterwards was not pretty or fun for me. I know it sounds silly, but have you ever tried to live by a motto similar to this...


';If you can't change the situation, it's not worth getting upset over.'; Honestly, it's really helped me. I just figure adding anger to an already touchy or unpleasant situation only makes it worse, therefore setting you off even more. It's not easy, trust me. I've been battling anger since I was just a kid. But I promise you, if you tell yourself it's not worth it, and you believe yourself, and stick to it, your anger will fade, just as mine has.


There's nothing ';wrong'; with you, I think you just may need guidance.


Whether it's from friends or family or even another adult to talk to, someone will have some good advice to share with you. You are not alone in this...there are a lot of people out there with aggression issues, and I promise you that you CAN get past it. It's always going to haunt you, and will act as an addiction, but if you push through it, you will see your anger and aggression fade.





Good luck! You deserve to be happy and safe, and so do your loved ones. :)





**I'm the same age as you, by the way.**
I think it's good that you have pinpointed your faults and mistakes. That's step 1. Step number 2 is to talk to someone dear about it, talk to a professional.